Leadership and Emotional Resilience – do the two go hand in hand?

 

Leadership – a subject that has been researched and written about for hundreds of years. We all draw on the skills needed for leadership whether it be in the home environment, in a social set up or at work.

Emotional Resilience (ER) – a subject that is seemingly new yet the study of emotions by psychologists has been around for hundreds of years but Emotional Resilience only recognised as a term in the 1970’s.

Leadership and ER are like two souls in love, they are linked, unable to live without each other. ER is your ability to adapt to stressful situations and crises – “bounce back”. Both biological and social factors determine your resilience levels. Whilst it seems to come more naturally to some, others of us have to work at it. Yes, it is something that can be improved or even learnt regardless of what we are born with.

A perfect example of a leader who displayed the qualities of being emotionally resilient is that of the late Nelson Mandela. Nelson displayed the 5 resilient attributes: Perspective, Awareness, Inner Control, Perseverance and Optimism

Whilst the South African political status continues to furrow into uncertainty, the legacy left by this amazing leader leaves the Rainbow Nation with some fundamental values. He created possibilities for the humanity of his country and intimately attached a vision of unity for each South African.

“I went for a long holiday for 27 years”, Nelson Mandela once said of his years in prison. Facing a harsh regime on Robben Island he found “ …the confinement forbidding, there was no end and no beginning, only one’s mind, which can begin to play tricks”.

Fortunately he had access to books and literature albeit limited and had many years to master this practice. Through time and reading he developed himself, and flourished with the 5 resilient qualities.

Perspective: Given the harsh conditions he suffered, he still managed to keep perspective and maintain an unbiased attitude reserving judgment. A psychological balance was maintained irrespective of the battles, struggles and triumphs he faced.

Awareness: A man who was self-aware yet also encouraged social awareness in his diverse nation. To mention a couple, he created an awareness of the fight against racism and an awareness of AIDS in Africa.

Inner Control: His leadership oozed qualities of consistency and fairness, rarely an outlandish emotional decision made. Rather than lashing out and making impulsive standpoints, he developed wisdom and willpower, evaluating all the time.

Perseverance: Determination personified whilst remaining aligned with his values. Quitting can sometime seem the easy way out yet he never gave up and was one hundred percent committed to his outcome.

Optimism: Against all odds, remained focused on the goal. This is an admirable quality to be able to see the positives and reframe all the negatives, resulting in a positive mental state.

Given the circumstances Madiba had to endure, emotional resilience contributed largely in supporting his great leadership. Should be clear to you now, how Leadership and ER go hand in hand?

Article written by Leigh McKay
@workwisely

Workplace bullying - where does the problem actually lie?

Is it an individual problem with bullies or lack of assertiveness and being a victim on your part?

 

So, I am enjoying a coffee with a friend and I tell him about this blog. His interest turns into anger which bubbles over. His view is that being nice is so under rated and people see it as a weakness – a balance of power shift. Bullying in his mind is a term that is far too loosely used and manipulated, always to fit an agenda.

 

The stereotypical image we hold of a bully often takes us back to school days. I remember Adrian M wielding his power over me and many of my peers in the playground. More recently the term “adult bullying” has been coined, especially in the workplace. In fact the study of school bullying has gone on for over three decades yet there have been few academic studies exploring bullying at work. Due to lack of legislation it is hard to knuckle down actual incidences.

The workplace is an ideal backdrop for emotional battles to be fought be it verbal, exclusion, intimidation or blackmail. Often done intentionally and sometimes perhaps not – emotions get projected onto other workers.

Rayner and Hoel (1977) have gone so far as to group workplace bullying into categories:*

 

Threat to professional status – belittling

Isolation – preventing access to opportunities and withholding information

Overwork – unrealistic deadlines

Destabilization – failing to give credit

Bullying incidents within organisations often see individuals leaving with the added cost of further recruitment and training. Bullying makes up part of the area of workplace stress. Certain models of stress, such as the transactional model, view stress as a dynamic process between persona and the environment.

 

In looking at the person and environment there is a shift as to where the problem actually lies? We often explain our own negative behaviour with reference to our environment, others and our circumstances, as being the result of our own internal characteristics. (otherwise known as Attribution Theory.) Is it bullying that you are experiencing or does the problem lie with you? 

Do you allow others to constantly take advantage of you in the workplace? Are you consistently doing extra work for a colleague or taking on the perpetual errands? Being the “yes man" can poison relationships – even cause internal conflict resulting in passive behaviour like stress, anger, want of revenge and victimization.

Learn to say “No” and be assertive. All these behaviours have been Iearned and you can re-train your brain to unlearn some of these habits. You can say “no” to some requests out of your remit or simply prioritise them.

Your time matters - don’t undervalue it. People that take advantage of you will constantly tell you that what they have to do and their time is more important.

Set some Boundaries - be polite yet direct when declining requests. Establishing limits to protect yourself will help you but also others to become more self-reliant.

Making these changes is a conscious decision and may seem like uphill all the way at first, but you will begin to see small improvements over time. Being assertive, not aggressive, is viewed as healthy communication. When you are able to communicate your feelings to others, you may find you gain confidence and self-esteem. This will lead to earned respect, improved communication and overall job satisfaction.

By: Leigh McKay

www.workwiseltd.co.uk

@workwisely

 

*Applying Psychology (2003) Nicola Brace and Helen Wescott

 

Engines Roaring and Grid Positions filled...

Greatness all in a days work?

The roar of Formula 1 turbo engines and the excitement of watching a Grand Prix has got me thinking about teamwork. Having been to a couple of Grand Prix’s in the last few years there can’t be a more explicit example of a team having to work cohesively and well?

Look at Lewis Hamilton’s most recent win in the Russian Grand Prix. Whilst Lewis stands on the podium receiving all the glory and accolades we are all subconsciously aware that it is him, but also a myriad of people behind him that creates his greatness.

Like business, Formula 1 is very competitive. The goal of the Formula 1 team is to win whilst spending millions of dollars in doing so. Sound familiar? Hundreds of hours are spent testing, building, designing and perfecting the car. When the driver goes into the pit stop there are at least 16 team members at the able. Refuel the car, change all the tyres and make slight wing adjustments under 4 seconds is all in a days’ team work.

This is just the tip of the iceberg and the only visible team to us at home. Behind the scenes are the factory team members, testing and designing the car. Personnel and logistics involved in getting the vehicles, team and drivers to various venues. What’s more, the team work starts months, sometimes years before the event. Collaboration, communication and focus is essential to success.

So in looking at your business, how does it compare to the slick example of the Lewis Hamilton Team of Formula 1? Whilst you may be an outstanding company and revel in your greatness, are you recognising and appreciating your team? Are they working as successfully and harmoniously as they could be?
By Leigh
Promoting Team Work through DISC Profiling workshops

Shhhh! The Secret of Emotional Resilience

 

So, you’ve arrived back from your “Summer hols” feeling refreshed and raring to go. You spend a few minutes listening to your voicemails as you approach the office. Urgent feedback from your PA is there have been a few disputes amongst your team which need ironing out immediately. Next you turn your attention to the 420 emails in your inbox. High on the priority list is HR outlining the staff member who left in June - it is looking likely that his qualms are going to lead to a tribunal. Board of Directors are wanting your quarterly strategy and forecasts in by the end of the week. Your top client wants to move a meeting date you had scheduled from next week to tomorrow as they feel there is a sense of urgency in discussing some snowballing issues. Your mobile phone pings… it’s a text message from your wife asking for your support at a parent teacher meeting this evening following an issue your daughters is facing at school.

The familiar feeling of your arms tingling and shallow breathing returns to you. Your energy levels start to feel sapped and you turn to a cappuccino to give you a much needed boost. At a rapid rate the positive effect of your holiday is wearing off and you are starting to ask yourself whether you can continue to sustain this amount of pressure on a long term basis – without having some kind of outburst that is…

It goes without saying that there are a lot of positives that go with fulfilling a leadership role and I have painted a pretty bleak picture here.

More often than not, there is an abundance of self-development and support programmes available to teams. Our research shows that this kind of support for leaders is rarer.  Yet the ability for leaders to remain calm, confident and be able to deal with change and pressure is vitally important to the success of a company!

Let me share with you a little secret, although you have probably heard this all before. Either way here goes...

As a leader if you are able to cultivate emotional resilience you will be able to approach all of these challenges calmly and confidently. By developing your emotional resilience you will be able to:

-        Understand and express your feelings and emotions

-        Recognise your stressors and be able to address them

-        Develop clear goals to help you have a clear vision

-        Communicate effectively and establish positive relationships

-        Deal with criticisms and judgements

In a nutshell, the greater your resilience, the greater your chances of overcoming continually challenging issues. The good news is emotional resilience is something that can be developed. Calm Execs offer exactly this and following our weekend programme, you leave armed with the tools needed to sustain and flourish in a leadership role. If this story resonates with you, I would welcome you contacting me to find out more about our Executive Weekend Resilience Programme, next one scheduled for November.

Leigh McKay

www.calmexecs.com

leigh@calmexecs.com
 

 

 

Idea... Dream... Goal

 

Isn’t it intriguing how at New Year’s eve we often set ourselves resolutions or goals for the year ahead? For those of you who set these goals have you reviewed them? Are you on track or have you achieved them?

Most successful people are goal orientated. They take the time to identify what they want to achieve and establish a detailed plan in how to reach the goal. Setting goals gives you focus, purpose, direction and motivation. You are less likely to drift and more likely to empower your future.

“To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you are going, so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.” Stephen R Covey

Many people don’t actually know what they want in their lives and will often talk about ideas and things they want. Your subconscious mind will work to achieve the things you think of most of the time, whether you want them or not. Why not feed your subconscious mind – the power of the subconscious has a tremendous effect.

I follow a few principles when goal setting:

• Align them with my values
• Write them down!
• Review them regularly
• They are specific and I am passionate about them 
• They are framed in the positive
• I make them challenging yet achievable
• I give myself a time frame

Most importantly don’t give up. Confucius said, “It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.” Whilst this jeopardises my time frame principle, truer words have never been spoken. You succeed by not stopping. You’ll notice if you take your dog for a walk, you take the first step and keep going until you reach your destination. The question you can ask yourself is, “If this principle works in routine, everyday occurrences, why wouldn’t it work in all areas of my life?” Of course, the answer is that it does.

It shouldn’t take New Year’s Eve to jig you into setting some goals. There is no better time like the present!

Leigh McKay

@workwisely

leigh@workwiseltd.co.uk
www.workwiseltd.co.uk

07880 326 303

Why Deep Tissue Massage and can it really help my stress levels?

Stress is universal and not always bad. When you hit the brakes in time to avoid a car accident, stress is doing its’ job. When stressed the body’s primitive “fight or flight” response is our automatic reflex to protect the body in order to survive. However, when there's never any relief from stress, the sustained fight-or-flight response can cause symptoms which come out in the form of Behaviour and Body Changes.

To name a few of these symptoms chronic muscle tension, palpitations, increase of blood pressure, headaches, insomnia and anxiety - I am sure you can relate to some of these? This is why, for me, taking care of your body should be a top priority. Having a regular massage not only encourages stress relief alone, but can improve your vitality and state of mind.

So, what exactly is a deep tissue massage?


Deep tissue massage is a type of massage therapy that focuses on realigning deeper layers of muscles and connective tissue. When there is chronic muscle tension, there are usually adhesions (bands of painful, rigid tissue) in muscles, tendons, and ligaments. Adhesions can block circulation and cause pain, limited movement, and inflammation. Deep tissue massage works by physically breaking down these adhesions to relieve pain and restore normal movement.


The positive effect of massage therapy on stress can be felt very quickly by lowering blood pressure and heart rate, calming and soothing the nervous system to give an over all sense of well being.


If you'd like to make this investment in your health or would like to know a little more, I would love to hear from you?


Contact Leigh